Creating a Life of Meaning

 

I have been a dreamer my whole life. I still have big dreams even though I lack the confidence to think I can achieve them. However, there are some aspects of my personality that helped me reach some of my goals. Perseverance, faith, clear objectives, writing my goals down every year, tenacity, and a kind of OCD which never allows me to rest till the work is done. It does not mean that I had not to break some walls along the path or take some time to rest and to redirect my course. It means that, no matter what occurs in my life, I have my dreams clear and do not abandon them. Though some of them could change as we get older and mature, others remain fixed and are our stars in our lives.

First of all, I always wanted to get a degree. I grow up in a very difficult context, being neglected by my parents, in charge of my siblings, doing everything by myself. At age 15 I left high school to work, and at age 16 I started living on my own. At the moment, the only aim for me was to be self-sufficient and to study. Life happened, I knew the missionaries, got baptized, got married, and then children came into our lives. Nevertheless, I did not lose sight of my goals. I still wanted a degree.

I have faced great, overwhelming, hard-to-bear challenges my whole life, and having a family of my own was not the exception. Motherhood started with loses, a stillborn, always having no certainty if I could be able to deliver them alive, not being able to feed my babies naturally, and the list goes on and on. They have grown up now, but I always remember how difficult was to keep my pregnancies and to reach to the end of them. This was a dream that I also had since was a child: to be a mother. And not only related to be able to have babies, I dreamed of being the mother I needed when I was a child.

I am 43 years old now. I am still studying to get a degree and could finish other courses which allowed me to obtain a good job as a TEFL teacher. I make my best every single day to be a good mother, even though I was diagnosed with mental health illnesses and other health issues. Since my diagnosis, my life has not become easier or better; however, my motherhood has greatly improved, and this is the greatest blessing I am grateful for because I want my children to feel loved and cared for.

As a conclusion, I can say that having clear goals do not mean that reaching them would be easy. Nevertheless, keeping our dreams alive will guide us along the way, making changes when necessary to redirect our course of action, to overcome challenges, and to finally reach our stars. From Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture I kept in my mind to encourage my own children’s creativity and to help them reflect upon their own dreams and stars.